Here I am, led awake with nothing in patricular on my mind. It's funny though how things this year have gone from bad to worse and seems like I have had to start to walk all over again.
Well now at least I'm coping better and have something to strive for and enjoying the ride now I have control again. Needless to say I'm not going to rule out any future problems that may be like I have already been through, but until that happens I'm
just going with the flow and will cross such bridges when I get there.
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Just when it couldn't get any worse!
Things have been on the up & up recently but had a knockback yesterday (Friday) when I was given less than 2 weeks to find alternate accomodation. I guess the landlady has been having hassle off the neighbours complaining of the slightest little thing and had decided to sell the property.
Well I wasn't really shocked by this news as I had a feeling in my water for a few weeks now and was offered accomodation the other night by a good friend of mine just accross the green from where I am now.
The other option is to move down the road to another friends farm where I shall be roughing it in my motorhome. Well not really as I have lived in this since Febuary and is quite cosy to say the least. It's an option I am willing to discuss as I can help out on the farm that he has so it will work 2 ways. Ahh well at least I won't be on the streets like I was in 2006.
Well I wasn't really shocked by this news as I had a feeling in my water for a few weeks now and was offered accomodation the other night by a good friend of mine just accross the green from where I am now.
The other option is to move down the road to another friends farm where I shall be roughing it in my motorhome. Well not really as I have lived in this since Febuary and is quite cosy to say the least. It's an option I am willing to discuss as I can help out on the farm that he has so it will work 2 ways. Ahh well at least I won't be on the streets like I was in 2006.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Why?
It seems this little 3 letter word has become the norm recently with mostly all aspects of my life.
The biggest why though is aimed at the constant horrible thoughts that I battle with all the time. Why can't these just go away? or why do I survive when all around me seems destined to fail?
Ok the latter of the 2 is pretty negative but was the attitude that I had at the beginning of the year. The trouble was that I was in unchartered waters after opening up to complete strangers about my condition which in turn set off the self-destruct mechanism within that I had always feared. The problem with GD is the self-inflicted hatred and fear of peoples reactions yet the people I have spoken with have actually been supportive, so why was I worried?
Ok I won't answer that as I will leave it to the imagination ;)
Ok on a lighter note today came another why? and in the process the good honourable Kerry weather raged against me walking out town this morning. God I looked a mess but had a good sense of humour over it. It takes something as trivial as getting wet to highten my mood right now as there seems to be too much serious stuff to be concerned over.
Anyway I shall leave it at that for now as the glucose levels have taken a tumble plus I need to conquer some fears that I have got set into my mind about going into town.
Who said this was going to be plane sailing huh?
The biggest why though is aimed at the constant horrible thoughts that I battle with all the time. Why can't these just go away? or why do I survive when all around me seems destined to fail?
Ok the latter of the 2 is pretty negative but was the attitude that I had at the beginning of the year. The trouble was that I was in unchartered waters after opening up to complete strangers about my condition which in turn set off the self-destruct mechanism within that I had always feared. The problem with GD is the self-inflicted hatred and fear of peoples reactions yet the people I have spoken with have actually been supportive, so why was I worried?
Ok I won't answer that as I will leave it to the imagination ;)
Ok on a lighter note today came another why? and in the process the good honourable Kerry weather raged against me walking out town this morning. God I looked a mess but had a good sense of humour over it. It takes something as trivial as getting wet to highten my mood right now as there seems to be too much serious stuff to be concerned over.
Anyway I shall leave it at that for now as the glucose levels have taken a tumble plus I need to conquer some fears that I have got set into my mind about going into town.
Who said this was going to be plane sailing huh?
Monday, 13 July 2009
Tis been a while!
It's been a fair while since I have posted here, partly due to the death of the lappy (2005-2009 R.I.P)
Well the last 6-7months haven't really been a bundle of fun to say the least, and while I still continue the battle of a 90° vertical climb, lets say that there is a reason to fight on even if at times it seems too hard.
Well the last 6-7months haven't really been a bundle of fun to say the least, and while I still continue the battle of a 90° vertical climb, lets say that there is a reason to fight on even if at times it seems too hard.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Saturday, 13 December 2008
Getting my head around things
It has been a tough few months for my little brain to get around, what with moving back to shared accommodation from the peace and tranquillity of my own place. However I have to look at the financial aspects of the whole thing as I have said many times in the past.
Things for me though seem to have become stagnant as I am neither moving forward or back and that has gotten me a bit frustrated over the past few weeks, so much that I had become in-tolerable around people close to me and came to realise this last night while sat there alone doing some thinking.
I am not sure on why this has happened or what the future holds in store for me but rest assured that I am not going to dwell on the point.
Now as we move forward towards Christmas, this is another time of great sadness thinking of my late father and all the good times we had together. I am going to try hard to get across to the UK to see my mum and spend some time at the grave-side of my dad on Christmas day and the other is to be able to catch up with relatives and old friends and of-course cannot forget that social aspect of going down the pub ;)
Things for me though seem to have become stagnant as I am neither moving forward or back and that has gotten me a bit frustrated over the past few weeks, so much that I had become in-tolerable around people close to me and came to realise this last night while sat there alone doing some thinking.
I am not sure on why this has happened or what the future holds in store for me but rest assured that I am not going to dwell on the point.
Now as we move forward towards Christmas, this is another time of great sadness thinking of my late father and all the good times we had together. I am going to try hard to get across to the UK to see my mum and spend some time at the grave-side of my dad on Christmas day and the other is to be able to catch up with relatives and old friends and of-course cannot forget that social aspect of going down the pub ;)
Friday, 12 December 2008
I'm back (kind of)
Jeepers, well it's been a while since I have tapped keys but the lappy is back in the land of the living JUST!.
Dear god where to begin or where to go from. Well it has been a confusing couple of months at least yet time is moving on and so am I in all my gracious beauty. It has not been easy by any respect but now have a window of opportunity open for a few month more at least. ;)
Dear god where to begin or where to go from. Well it has been a confusing couple of months at least yet time is moving on and so am I in all my gracious beauty. It has not been easy by any respect but now have a window of opportunity open for a few month more at least. ;)
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