Now we have February out the way, it seems to be plan sailing from ere on out. Ok, well not completely but the last 2 months have to be the worst ever on record.
Most of this blog so far covers my day to day activities and thoughts, through the lows and highs. Having done a lot of research into GID, I have more of an awareness of exactly what is happening to me. OMG some scary stuff at that, but it is not deterring me from my mission to correct the parts that were given to me without my consent. Hey sounds like car insurance. My god, i was put together by a wannabe car insurance broker.
Ok, my understanding so far is that I am a female trapped within the body of the opposite sex. Yup (ticks box)
I have spent most of my life in isolation and denial. Yup
I have been conscious of this. Yup
I have had the urge to dress en femme. Yup
I hate the bits below I was born with. Hmmmm yup definitely.

Ok, so those boxes are checked and have been thought over for a good number of years.
Now I have actually decided to something about this and go through the process of changing my gender. But seems that with all this information and Admitting to myself and talking to friends about this. I am totally nervous of talking to my shrink whom I have to see within the next few months.
Ok, so over the coming weeks, we are going to work on this. I am proud now of who I am and feel somewhat a sense of achievement of where I have got to so far.
I feel that with what I am about to go through with SRS is not for the fain hearted, after all this could all go wrong and could be writing a ticket for me to push up the daisy's.
Hmmm hopefully not anyway.

As of late, I have started to connect again of where I was when i was a teenager. Even down to loosing weight and getting fit. My 20's have past and want to forget the whole experience of the bad times there. Cannot think of much in the way of good to say the least.
I have moved on and am in a new country. I have become known to a lot here, but also brought this ambiance of being different. Something that over the last few weeks has been lost and my true femme self is starting to shine through again.
Having decided to live now on my own, I feel set about my transition an that it can take place within the town. After all there are soo many different cultures here who is going to notice a TS. Well if they do, the tough shyte as i am proud of who I am. Did I not mention that just now. After all, being TS is not something that I chose, but merely have had to cope with all my known life.

I am using my time at the mo' to get into the femme routine, which involves lightening up the body, being relaxed and walking like a ballerina, but also stiffening up the posture to keep the back straight and head up. I have never felt better. I cannot understand how blokes can be so slubbern and no wonder they complain of back problems.
Even down to bending, I have to get used to bending my knees. No good doing the expose thing when wearing a short skirt.

Now looking at the next step of makeup. hmmm going to be fun, but the practice seems so natural just something I have not yet had the chance to practice on.

For now xxxxxx