Troubled times have come & past but despite the harsh living conditions these past few weeks, I've been in good spirits & enjoying my new start to the year & the prospects that await me.
Still though the monster within still lurks, waiting for a chance to raise it's ugly head again & so far I've managed to keep it at bay but somehow, over the last few days I've felth that warmth of content drain once again leaving me with a sick sensation within.
I do however, have no notion of going back to the way things were last year but have also the knowledge that things in my life have changed & there is stuff I am unable to do & things I cannot partake in.
My life has been left a blank canvas, awaiting an artist to come along and start crafting the master-piece of my new world.
Since the start of this new year & new life, I've had to deal with harsh reminders of my mis-fortune throughout 2009 & memories have flooded back to me from the extreme situation of 2006, something I have rarely spoke about and will remain a chapter & verse of my trials & suffering that remains closed until such times I can deal with them.
Much rides on this year to get me kick-started back on to the road to recovery. The first is making contact with the psychologist I've been longing to contact.
In his recent letter, he was away for his christmas break until the 19th of this month which is tomorrow.
Hopefully now I can get the much deserved treatment I've so longed for in my life & move forward once again. But for today only I reman in limbo with no real emotional feelings what-so-ever.
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