I must admit that this has been a roller coaster of events the last 6 months or so. Just when you think you are on a high or stabilized, then something smacks you right in the face and you feel right back down in the gutter again.
Recently I spoke to my step-father about my situation but it seems since then I have felt low and not wanting to make an effort with anything in life.
I am currently on a week off from work as the hype has cooled off a bit for this month at least. Getting my pay cheque I was going to hit the shops and treat myself, but instead I headed for a few relaxing pints :( This turns into a drinking session from hell that I found myself with no control over and add a bit of bad health and some dodgy food, well to say the least I have not been right since.
I cannot see right now what has driven me so far to this point and have no visions what-so about the future. It all seems like a blur and a dream that I have woken up from.
I think that it is just a case of time before this whole situation takes a turn for the worst and all starts over again.
There are so many that know about my situation from the close knit circuit of my life but not one actually knows the pain and suffering that i have gone through to get to this point.
Ahh well I think the body needs a rest and just going to take it easy for a while. I have seen this situation so many times before and can bounce back just as quick. But honestly in thinking about the whole picture, I am lonely and scared about what the future holds.
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