The last few days have been an awful blur to me as my thoughts spiralled out of cotrol and I started slipping into that deep crevis that for so many months has gotten to me. However I remain optimistic about life and transition and the hope it will improve my life.
It's kinda funny what has kept me afloat though and that was the thought of painting more pictures. Yep I have recently been bitten by the bug of art after completing my first painting in *uhem* well lets say a good while ;) It is something apart from my photography that I wanted to do since coming to Ireland but was drawn into the trap of self-confidence and the booze. I'm going to have to scan in some photos & pictures soon when I finally get my new lappy, heaven knows how I will manage with such a small generator and no 240v readily to hand but sure I'll find a way.
This whole journey has been a mixed bag of trials for me yet knowing with every down turn I get stronger and my will to come out on top shines through. Yet the darkest of times I feel help-less which drives my emotions into performing the horrible thoughts that rule me. I will fight to win the right to be my true self and even the daily battles just to exist that really get me down are worth it as I have wonderful friends whom are close to me and have tracked me on-line that I would not want to let down ;)
1 comment:
I look forward to seeing any pictures. :)
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