Look beyond the fears.

I've been to some pretty dark places in my time & all too often to that "point of no return" where the only options left seem feasible & justified. The place where suicide prevails over ever course, action or warrant of the gift of life itself.
My case was one that would have only broken the hearts of a few & that having only one surviving family member, of whom we don't communicate, who would have missed me?
Frankly it would have been a blessing & a release from a torturous existence I'd always known.
But something beyond me had other ideas & kept me protected at all costs.

Today I see life in a different light & see the inflicting suffering of those torn apart & left with the questions "why?"
The parents, friends & families so deeply scarred by the actions of suicide that it sends them to a point of no return.

My aim, even back then was to stop one person on this earth from taking their life. Sounds so little but it is one person that I'll know about & many more I won't. But it was that one person that ended up to be myself.

In the times since there has been a battle to "want" recovery & a battle I found hard to grasp.
Coming from a life of conflict more serious than war-torn countries & a conflict so invisible to the outside world, but so real in my minds eye, adjusting to peace was like learing a whole new language & way of life.
Have I got it right? Sure as heck no! But I'm open to learn.

I have also been privy to know the survivors of legendary warriors who have seen their loved ones battle against all odds over other fatal illness & the message of one young man who touched the nation with his plea to youngsters in a bid to help highlight the severity of suicide. That lad was Donal Walsh.

I've also seen parents fighting the cause too of loved ones so troubled & lost to this horrific battle, whom have taken the helm to highlight the stigma surrounding mental health & to keep the beacon of hope burning bright.

But I am inspired by my own journey, one that against all odds can now claim the title of "Survivor of Suicide"
This is my plea:

Look beyond your own suffering & into the eyes & hearts of those around you, who deeply love you if not they might show directly to you.
If you die then a part of them dies too. A part so much deeper than your current suffering & pain more immense than yours.
Their questions of why will echo the empty chambers within for ever more & can never be answered.
Look beyond the fear you face & face the fears with faith & hope.
Because faced fears never expand to what we come to imagine.
Let me extend my hand of hope, to let you know that life is worth living & should I not meet your expectations then follow my footsteps of proof that things can, will & do get better with time & talking.
It may seem painful at first but every journey starts with a first step & each step taken is one of strength, courage & growth.
Be a survivor not a statistic & remember "it's OK not to feel OK & absolutely OK to ask for help"