Ireland recently categorised names for winter storms & already we are seeing Desmond raise his head & cause havoc across the country.
High winds & heavy rain again this weekend & this in itself would be enough to make a massive dent in the mood of anyone.
For me its all about cultivating gratitude for what I have & being where I am right now.
I know all too well that constant storms like this rolling in & the impact they can have on weakening structures & uprooting trees.
All this though went on in my mind with conflict upon conflict flooded my life.
Yet despite all the odds I stayed standing.
Right now I am grateful for what I have & haven't got in my life, I'm grateful for my faithful companion Jess who has remained by my side these last 5 years through some very tough times.
I'm also grateful for the experiences that I've faced head on & battled through, one such experience was that which happened 3 years ago & was the changing point of my life at that moment & one that saw me severing ties with supports that I have now learned were never working for me.
I used to be so envious of stories I read of others at peace & I was still in conflict with my inner self. They were doing stuff I could only have dreamed of & yet never dreamed of because this stuff never happened to the likes of me.
Being engaged in society is something many take for granted, but when you spend an eternity sat on the fence fitting in is tough going.
It is not something that a person can admit to yet tries to fit into the role of despite not understanding the rules.
This got me into many situations where the impression I portrayed was actually totally opposite to my intent & it was those disheartening knocks that drove me further to the edge & to want out of the cruel world I saw.
A world that still to this day takes things on face value & judges accordingly. Such sad morals & values as I can see much deeper than face value & makes my time sitting on that fence seem more worthwhile that I'd ever could have imagined.
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