Ok as bad as ths sounds it really isn't :)
I have had a sleep and had a wierd dream about me backing out of my transition. Hmmm could be likely at this point but I know that this is the only chance now of feeling complete. I am looking towards making steps to get some local help and hope to meet up in the next day or so with someone I spoke to in Cork a few months ago. I need to get something started and something to look forward to.
Right now I feel like the situation of work does not help matters but talking to close friends who refer to me as Katy seems kinda wierd too. I really am not sure anymore of who I really am but know who I should become.
I am currently working with a guide who treats me like a piece of excrement and the passengers calling me by my male name makes me want to scream out I am not male but knowingly on the surface I am.
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