Here i am sat in a hotel now having nothing to do. I am unable to get out as I have no money and the expenses I a due are now paid for at the end of the tour. So how the hell am I supposed to survive on fresh fooking air?
I ma going to give this company until the end of te weekend to explain to me the pay structure and when I can expect to receive my money. After that I am off.
My group went out today onto one of the islands and I stayed at the bus thinking about what the future holds for me. It is not promising as I am still confused and scared of whether or not I can go through with my transition. I am not sure if I can continue with this whole thing which leads me to thinking if it is worth carrying on with life as the pain is too much to bare and I know it will not go away. I have been concious of my GID up to now and will be even more concious if I transition as to what people reactions are going to be. Not good.
My emotions have been running high just lately taking to heart comments made by my boss and tour guide. I hit back at that today and basically told them to fuck off.
I Just wnat to curl up and die now, I hav no moral valus in life and cannot tollerate this whole thing that has dominated my life anymore
2 comments:
Dear Katey
I was so pleased to see you rejoin Angels. There are some wonderful supportive, inspirational people there. You need never feel alone.
I took my waffling reply to you down because I just know there are far more eleequent experienced friends that can give you good advice there,should you need it.
There is currently a beautiful inspirational story posted by Jo Harris. She has been through so much, lost so much & still survived. Miracles can happen. We can turn our lives around.
Take care
Love
Debbie
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