Sat there yesterday sorting out my room and all the crap I have accualated recently I realized just what I have been doing to myself lately. Deep down I wish all this could go away but know on the surface that it wont and simply have to bare the changes that I need to go through and this is why I now need to move away and be on my own again. It will be pretty much like before of having no-one round to visit but I can be happy and get on with life and do my studies and work.
I sat there gazing into the mirror and looked deeper beyond what I was seeing, the ugly with-drawn face revealed a more beautiful person this someone I had seen recently and was quite content to live with.
I know that it is going to be an uphill battle to get back to that state and 1 week of heavy drinking can take months of hard exercise and lots of rest to un-do what has been done.
Even down to posting here has been quite a struggle as of late but hope now that things can once again move forward and upwards.
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